We should have practiced our goodbyes
Like reciting the sheets of delicate music
that were left and forgotten by the campfire.
I could see the tears brimming in your eyes,
They made me never want to say goodbye.
So we just sat there.
The light wandered away, warning us:
Time was passing, and we were not prepared.
You rode on home in pain that night,
If I could, I would have written you out:
A song so strong that sails you back to me
But my gift is useless.
My poetry made you blush a fantastic smile,
One that held for over ten thousand seconds
Time was passing, but your smile did not quake.
When missing you became unbearable,
I would write you a new love song,
Reminding you that in my heart, we still loved
To dance together, in the middle of the ocean.
If I fell asleep beside you,
You would rock me awake softly,
Like the boathouse on the river on a stormy morning.
We didn’t need the Sun to light the way forwards:
To show us that we were fixed together.
But we needed the Sun to remind us,
Life has a lot of winding rivers,
and it’s easy to fall into the opposing current.
Only when falling down the steaming waterfall,
Did I realise how much I needed you,
To make me feel unassailable.
There was no rocking-motion to calm me.
Time crumbled slowly, so I could hear every heartbeat,
Every counting ‘tick’ and ‘tock’ of the glass metronome,
Shattering murderously, as my heart fell to pieces,
Reaching the steaming ocean before me,
And for a short, sharp moment, I heard you calling.
I needed bottles of answers stored in my heart,
To recognize how I felt for you.
I never felt confident with my own decisions:
The music I would write and send ashore,
Trapped in a cork-screw bottle,
Sent to the very depths of the profusion,
Taught me how to determine my path towards you.
I thought I didn’t have the time, to play the music
That you wrote for me, while I slept in your arms
That tempestuous night.
I wish I had tried, my regrets heavier than any mistake
Anyone could’ve made before. But,
I hope you know I’ve been keeping your lyrics safe,
In the River of Loving You.