I found myself screaming “STAY!”
Even though you left hours ago.
I’m sat by the fire, finally out of cans
And broken glass bottles-
That were once full of answers.
Sometimes I think too much,
Overpowering times you would speak to me.
I faded out into the background noise,
Perishing in the flames of knowledge-
You knew I had not been listening.
It was not my choice, my plan,
Controlling my free thoughts, steady;
Stop for just a moment, pains me to my core.
Because I really wanted to hear your voice,
Staring into your soul, I ignored the words.
Why is it so hard to concentrate
On listening to your side of the conversation?
It’s not just you who I struggle listening to.
It’s rare for me to talk myself into new-
Situations full of hope, are they waiting?
You know I’m going to be here,
Until my thoughts unite in tranquillity.
Meditating dawn ‘til dusk,
The challenge is to silence my mind
To heal itself at last.
Please! I can hook my heart-
To your long-vacant smile
That was once so warm, inviting.
On the countdown to breaking-point
We asked too many “why’s” and not “when’s”.
I regret not taking more photos,
And scrapbooking every funny thing
You’ve said to me this year
Because they say memories last longer-
I stay, watching the last flame
Until it burns out, dead.
My last memory ever,
And it’s without you. Unbearable
Darkness smothers me, deceased.