We all have fears growing up in this world.
I am scared of many things.
I am not afraid to admit this,
For stubborn doors have to be forced open,
From time to time, to clean the dust.
I am petrified of the dark.
Being alone, in a big empty space…
When the light goes out,
And the only way for me to see anything,
Is to trust myself, that I am safe.
Mirrors get turned over,
Terrified to look into them,
Like seeing myself in the window –
When darkness rules this hemisphere,
My heart jumps out from my body,
Adrenaline flushing through, sevre.
Looking around my room in awe,
Everything seems to be in order…
Nothing to trip me over-
To break any bones in my body;
Not that I ever have broken a bone before.
I take one brave step, after another…
But after just a moment of having no light,
Visuals become vivid. Weird things that don’t exist, suddenly do.
It’s clear to me that I am not alone.
I cannot see feasible things now,
When the light goes out, I blur, stunned.
Shadows are invented;
From the gaps between the curtains,
The glass above my bedroom door,
I shouldn’t have this feeling-
That I’m being watched.
Approaching my curtain stiff, to check…
I just can’t handle this anymore!
I give in! I give up! Call it a day,
Where I can’t go to sleep in the dark,
Like everybody else!
So I keep my light turned on.
Only some nights do I brave to sleep,
In the incompetent darkness.
And in the corner of my eye I focus-
So hard, I practically invent this Ghost,
Babysitting me, silent.
I actually attempt talking to it sometimes.
It’s not supernatural,
It’s clearly paranoia,
Of the heart that knows Spirits exist.
Have you ever woken up at 3am,
Feeling pressure, pushed against your heart?
It happens and it hurts. Are you scared?
New-found heavy breathing, and headaches
Lasting a lifetime, every night.
How does my heart keep up?
Relapsing the same programme;
Terror of the dark,
That visits me every night.